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We All Scream

Buffalo Exchange Ben & Jerry's in a freezer.

By Joe Carrel, Buffalo Exchange Tempe

Whoever said “There ain’t no cure for the summertime blues” was obviously forgetting ice cream. And few do ice cream better than my taste bud heroes, Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield (yes, this photo is from my freezer, and no, this isn’t a paid advertisement for Ben & Jerry’s). While I could certainly sing the praises of my favorite flavors till the cows come home (Vermont dairy cows, naturally), I thought it would be more fun to look at some of Ben & Jerry’s crazier concoctions that never quite caught on.

Buffalo Exchange Ben & Jerry's sundae.

Did you know that the Ben & Jerry’s headquarters has an actual Flavor Graveyard, featuring tombstones for each of the “dearly de-pinted”? Yep, 35 flavors thus far have gone to that big freezer in the sky. Here’s a few that probably sounded like a good idea at the time…

Peanuts! Popcorn! (’00 – caramel ice cream with white fudge-covered caramel popcorn, toffee-coated peanuts and a caramel swirl) They may have been thinking baseball (“buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack”) but this one was a strikeout.

Tennessee Mud (’88-89 – coffee ice cream with amaretto, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee whiskey and roasted slivered almonds) I like coffee and I like whiskey, but as we saw with (insert celebrity couple breakup of your choosing), two rights sometimes do make a wrong.

Oh Pear (’97 – pear ice cream with a hint of almond and a light fudge swirl) Like the similarly-fated “Sugar Plum” flavor, some supporting characters just aren’t meant to take the lead role.

Peanut Butter and Jelly (’89-90 – peanut butter ice cream with peanut butter bits and strawberry jelly swirl) Perhaps if it was in the form of an ice cream sandwich? Yeah, still no.

Miz Jelena’s Sweet Potato Pie (’92-93 – ginger ice cream with a fudge swirl) Not saying this couldn’t work, but any baker worth their nutmeg will tell you to steer clear of ginger as your base flavor.

Wild Maine Blueberry (’92-93 – blueberry ice cream with Maine blueberry puree and wild Maine blueberries) I’m no math wiz, but blueberry + blueberry + blueberry = too much blueberry.

Chocolate Comfort (’99 – chocolate truffle low fat ice cream swirled with white chocolate low fat ice cream) If you’re reaching for Ben & Jerry’s, you’ve already told your normally healthy instincts to take a little break. If you’re gonna go for it, go all the way.

Holy Cannoli (’97-98 – creamy ricotta and pistachio ice cream with chocolate-covered cannoli’s and roasted pistachios) While most of these flavors had at least a scoop of potential, this one can only be chalked up to temporary brain freeze.

Here’s to a summer of good excuses to indulge in your favorite frosty flavors!

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